They locked me in an Asylum.
I haven’t written a poem in 7 years.
Maybe I have, maybe I don’t know what a poem really is?
They put a cat in here with me,
it was never declawed,
and every time it tries to cuddle up with me it scratches at me knees.
I want to say I hate this cat,
but how can I say that?
It’s just a cat.
Sometimes I walk around this room,
with it’s bright white walls,
sometimes I punch its walls,
sometimes I kick and scream,
sometimes I cry,
sometimes I don’t care about anything at all.
No matter what though, that cat still keeps scratching me.
This being visits me overnight. Everyday without fail.
They say their name is Nour.
But everyday they change shape,
except they’re always slightly transparent.
Sometimes their hands are big,
sometimes they’re small.
Sometimes they have small lips, and a round face.
Sometimes their lips are round, and they have a sharp jaw.
Sometimes they have long hair,
and sometimes it’s a buzz.
Sometimes they wear dresses, and sometimes they wear ties.
But they always say the same thing:
Let the cat scratch you.
I am not used to pets, I am not used to their claws.
I don’t know how to live with them.
How do I stop them from scratching?
How do I get them to play with me?
Do they always cut when they try to touch you?
Do I have to get used to their bites?
I’m stuck here, with this stupid cat.
It doesn’t know how to act.
Sometimes I want to throw it at a wall.
That’s all I have: these walls, and that cat.
That’s all my life is.
It makes me so mad.
Finally, I scream:
Just tell me what you want you stupid cat!
But it never responds,
Because it’s a cat.
Sometimes when I look back at my shadow, it looks bigger than it should be.
I am scratched all over.
My arms,
My hands,
My feet,
My legs,
My chest.
Nour tells me,
That cat doesn’t mean to hurt you. It scratches, because that’s part of its nature. It can’t help the way it is.
As I lay down, the cat gets on top of me and starts scratching again,
I bleed.
I wonder what I should name this cat,
Nour says its last name is Rouhi.
I hold it close to my chest, and say one thing over and over again,
You can keep scratching me,
I’ll be your victim,
not your master.
(Author’s note: The song “Eye, Soul, and Hand” by You’ll Never Get to Heaven helped me write this poem. Consider it the soundtrack to the poem.)
The Junction Journal 
when reading this I felt as if It was intimate, unsettling, and relatable, like stepping inside someone’s mind as they process trauma, identity, or an unshakable part of themselves. The cat could symbolize many things—pain, intrusive thoughts, like the voices in your head that you’re always fighting with at times and don’t really know how to turn them off like some mental illnesses, or even love that wounds. The cat Nour, whose name means “light,” seems to act as a guide, urging toward acceptance rather than resistance. At its core, this poem explores what it means to live with something like painful memories whether it’s a part of ourselves, a memory, or an experience we cannot change and explain Instead of trying to control or destroy it, you choose to let it exist, even if it continues to wound them. When reading this poem many might wonder what exactly the cat and scratching identities as, but for others it might clicked faster than ever.
LikeLike
Sorry for the late reply Marie, but your analysis is great. The only thing I would correct is that Nour and the cat are not the same being, but I understand where the confusion might lie. Nonetheless besides that your analysis is spot on, I love your phrasing “Love that wounds”, its very simple and just straightforward but it’s simplicity is very striking to me, I don’t know why. I hope you were able to find some comfort in this poem, and thank you for interacting with it!
LikeLike
This poem really connected with me because it shows how difficult it is to deal with things in life that hurt us but are part of us. It made me think about struggles we can’t avoilike our own emotions, past mistakes, or challenges in life and how we have to accept them to find peace. The poem is very interpersonal and the symbolism of the cat scratching them , the eventual resistance and then the slow acceptance in the end , the whole thing was so raw and graceful. I also liked how it doesn’t try to “fix” the problem but instead focuses on understanding and living with it.The line that stayed with me was: “You can keep scratching me, I’ll be your victim, not your master.” This part is so powerful because it shows the poet’s decision to accept the pain instead of trying to control it. They choose to let the cat be itself and live alongside it, even though it hurts. Especially since the cat Is most likely used as symbolism for the emotional turmoil or pain inside of of the poet .That idea of surrender, not as giving up but as finding peace, felt very meaningful to me. The figure Nour also stood out to me since in Arabic it translates to light and could represent guidance , naming the cat Rouh which means soul was an amazing way to show that the cat was actually the poets inner struggle and pain .Overall, this was a beautiful and interesting piece of poetry and I really enjoyed reading it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry this response is a little late, but I really loved your analysis, you really got it 100% correct. I am glad you enjoyed reading it, and I hope it helped give you some peace and or comfort in your own spare time. Thank you for taking the time to read my poem.
LikeLike