I sit here in the light of my lamp.

The words dripping from my fingers,

Slowly.

Terribly painfully.

Next to me, the slippery chimes

Of my friends’ laughter

Mask the heavy summer air

In the sweet pretense of tolerability.

I think back to a time I was happier.

None.

I imagine a future I would be happier.

None.

I always say “live with no regrets”

Is a phrase for happy people.

That I would go back

If given the chance.

But now, in this moment,

No memory is sweet enough.

No future too promising.

Right now, I’d choose right now.