I’m trying to gain some sort of perspective, some sort of understanding.

I’ve used :

Astrology

Angel numbers

Religion

All in attempt to understand what cannot be understood.

Our history of confusion has led us to create many things in hopes of restoring a sense of human purpose.

I look to things as silly as coffee cup readings to predict misfortunes and pleasantry’s that await me.

I then regain my senses and realize I am trying to find my life’s purpose in what should be images in a bunch of coffee residue.

So much is going on around me yet I still struggle to find it’s meaning.

I always hope that there is a grand scheme and all my misfortunes are leading up to some sort of great destiny but I guess this is just the concept sold to keep us going, humanity going.

Everything is horribly confusing, but it is only confusing because of my continuous search for purpose.

There is no purpose,

How do I even know if anything is real?

What could even be defined real?

Why should I take this so serious if I have no proper sense of reality.

What if this is all just a simulation,

What if there are different levels of reality.

We see reality to be what is physical, what is really here,

But this is limited to what we can perceive,

We assume the spiritual is gone with the physical when we pass, but do we know that either?

We assume those deemed to be insane are just not normal people but how do we know they aren’t just on another plane of existence.

It is hard to understand the complexities of life with simple concepts.

People like me are on a constant hunt for purpose, truth, and light but there is no answer.

Just allow life to happen. It is a trip that is painful, confusing, and amazing with zero explanation.