hey everyone–

for this week’s blogpost, i decided to interpret the “time capsule” category by playing with time’s speed in deliberation as i reflect on something i struggle with: going outside.

it’s morning. the wind hushes me through leaves rustling in circles at my feet. i start to wonder if i’d made a mistake by going outside today. i’m not one good with adventure. not when i’m alone, anyway. it’s different in company. to hold a hand, to walk in synchronous rhythm, to feel safe. i feel my feet tingle in a cold sweat, like my soul is receding further into my body than possible. she lingers on the boarder of beyond the limit of communication, laughing at me when i isolate, scolding me when i integrate. i pull my feet forward, feeling my chest rise to the sharp tongue of my soul. the wind is still hushing. i’m alone with my soul and the leaves. i start to feel overwhelmed, turning to start for home. home, safe, home. shelter, warm and cozy. but, i need things. things i can only get from the outside. i need to buy more tomatoes and bread, i need to walk around the block. i should be able to complete a task so simple and straightforward. i decide to skip tomatoes and bread. i was going to make a lovely tomato paste on toast with cream cheese–shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. a leaf sicks to the side of my leg, its stem dancing on my exposed ankle. i go left to circle the block instead of right for the grocery store. it’s nightfall and i’ve failed.

-l.a.

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p.s.: Stay safe and healthy! Remember to wash your hands for 20 seconds at a time, don’t touch your face, and be considerate to your community by practicing social distancing! Let’s all do our part in fighting against coronavirus.