Joaquin

by David Yusufov

There was nothing “average” about Joaquin.  He towered above others at whopping 6’8, had ears akin to Dumbo, that perhaps if he tried hard enough, he too good take flight. His nose stuck out like the moai of Easter Island. To most he was intimidating, wearing baggy clothes that concealed his physique. If he were ever found at the beach however, that would be another story entirely. In his swimming trunks he resembled the model skeleton you would find in any high school science classroom. In cars he found the back of his neck pressed against the hood and in trains unsuspecting commuters were often victim to the uncalculated flailing of his arms as he moved about. He had moved from Wyoming about two years ago to live in New York. Much like many others, he was deceived of what it meant to live in such a big city. He wanted anonymity but at his height and with his appearance that was too much to ask for. If he didn’t fit in with the people, at least he could fit in with the skyscrapers. Two years ago he made the move thinking he could become an actor in this great city but at every audition he was met with wide eyes and at times even shocked laughter from casting directors. Every time he entered one of these casting rooms, the cameraman was always frustrated to have to recalibrate his set-up to fit Joaquin in the frame. So here he was, commuting every day by train, to his job at a telemarketing call center, selling diet pills and supplements to people who didn’t need them—only to come home to a cat that hissed and refused to sit by his side.

Joaquin had just walked back into the office from his lunch break. He was passing his cubicle as he saw the light blinking at the phone on his table. He looked at the time on his computer—he still had another 3 minutes left on his break. What the heck, he thought. Rarely did he ever have people interested enough to make the call themselves—it was always him soliciting others on his long call sheet. He sat down, pulled on his headset, and answered the phone.

“Hello! This is Joaquin of Flexell Supplements speaking. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to today and how can I help you?”

There was a moment of silence before someone on the other end of the line said, “Joaquin…” almost as if they were letting his name marinate in their mouth.

“Yes that’s right sir, Joaquin. How may I be of service? We have plenty of fantastic supplements to offer, everything from fish oils to weight loss pills.”

“Hello Joaquin,” said the voice again.

“Yes I’m here,” said Joaquin.

“How tall are you Joaquin?”

Joaquin began to fidget in his seat.

“I’m sorry I don’t understand—perhaps I can explain what our supplements do and the benefits that come with being a Flexell customer?”

“Joaquin. How tall are you?”

Joaquin’s leg began jitter as it involuntarily bounced up and down.

“I’m 6’8,” he said.

No sooner than Joaquin had finished his sentence he heard a click and the line went dead. He looked around the office, everyone in their cubicle talking to customers—leaning back on their chairs, fidgeting with little toys on their desk, snacking on chips, putting on or taking off their headsets. He took a deep breath and got back to work.

Joaquin was staring at the time on his computer, he had about two minutes until it was 5 PM and he could go home to his ungrateful cat that he missed so dearly—until his supervisor approached him.

“Umm… Joaquin. There’s a large group of people waiting outside for you. Look man. I don’t know who they are but this is a business, and you can’t be bringing whatever shit you’re doing into here. Please go outside and talk to them. I have employees trying to get their cars out of the parking lot and they simply can’t. Go deal with this now.”

Joaquin looked at him, puzzled. He got up slowly, leaving his coat and bag at the desk and made his way downstairs quickly. When he reached the lobby his coworkers were crowded around the glass doors and all turned their heads to look at him, slowly parting like the Red Sea as they watched him with wide, open eyes. Joaquin pushed through the doors. What stood before him his mind could make no sense of. Hundreds of people. Hundreds. Men, women, and even some with their children. Not a single one of them stood an inch over 5 feet. When they saw him walk out their eyes beamed and glistened. As if a wave washed over them, they each took a knee and lowered their heads.

“JOAQUIN!” they roared in unison.