I scroll through Tim Caston’s old Boylan Blog posts and see “Watching the Semester Roll by.” I resolve to write my own version as a farewell to my friends, both inside and outside the internship office, who are leaving this semester. See you, nerds. I love you.

With a clunk the vending machine dispenses my Cherry Pepsi. It’s cold. The first interns’ meeting isn’t supposed to start until 5:05, so I should be a few minutes early. I push open the door to the English Majors’ Counseling Office and a room full of twelve gorgeous faces stare back at me. Everyone is better dressed than I am, and I am the last to arrive. The only open seat is next to Professor Natov. I sit there.

I’m nervous and sweaty. I’m wearing my winter coat and it is unbearably hot, but as we go through the syllabus for the Internship, I don’t dare take it off. Don’t want to make noise and interrupt. I carefully watch Professor Natov’s face from the side and make sure to look away whenever I think she might turn my way. When she asks who wants to run the Writer’s Circle this semester, my hand raises itself on its own, and I’m already mentally anguishing over the added responsibility.

I didn’t always have good grades. When Professor Minter recommended me to the internship, Professor Natov was understandably hesitant. I can still remember sitting in her office just before winter break. Last semester was pretty rough, but I had kept my grades consistent.

“You know, it’s a lot of work,” Professor Natov said. Her voice and eyes were kind.

“I’d like to think I have a good work ethic.” I wasn’t sure if she was expecting me to back out of it. It seemed like she was trying to warn me off. I think I made myself useful this semester.

School was a job and I was determined to treat the internship the same. So, after the first meeting was over, I asked Tim to show me how to use MailChimp. He led me into the back office to the computer, showed me the basics. He wore a green shirt (probably) and had his signature hipster beard-glasses combo. He is a handsome man. Very nice, too. I warmed up to him as we talked, though everything was still unbearably formal.

Leah was around, too. She’s scary and cool.

Wednesday comes and I get my first office hours. I’m there alone with Raisa. She is impeccably dressed. We sit there in silence for hours, neither of us even attempting small talk. I get my blog post and my homework for the week done there and feel pretty good about myself.

Justine and Sophie come in later and start conversations, and it’s only through these other people that I’m able to talk to Raisa. Sophie is very warm, Justine very funny. Justine and I bond over Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, a TV show.

Raisa and I later become friends, and share our writing. She’s gives me invaluable feedback. I am flattered that such a good writer likes my work.

That Thursday I host the first Writer’s Circle with my friend Samantha. She’s, of course, better dressed than me. There are subtle mentions on her belongings to an actor I’d never heard of, but would be learning about soon. Considering I had promised Professor Natov on three separate semesters that I would come and check the workshop out and never did, I’m expecting this to be a boring hour every week.

My afternoon office hours with Professor Natov are dull. I enter into the office and a few of my fellow interns are already there. Mike and Leah are having an impassioned conversation about Superheroes, and I am extremely envious—on one hand because I am scared to talk to Leah, and on the other because someone else has already made a friend. I force my into the conversation by talking about the Marvel Netflix shows. Dave is there (better dressed) and talks with me for a while about them. He’s very pleasant. My first few weeks go like this, with me sitting out in the waiting area while my fellow interns hang out in the office, scavenging the room for something I can read to pass the time.

An aside about Jared. He always makes an effort to say hello to me, and I just want him to know that I appreciate it so much. He is a good person.

The rest of the semester rolls by fuzzy and non-specific. Some goofs. A few gaffs sprinkled here and there. As time passes, Raisa and I begin speaking on Wednesdays, and I no longer get to feel good about getting my work done. I’m too busy enjoying myself. We go to a Macaulay Honors College event together and for the most part I have an okay time. Monica is there, and even though she was an intern last semester I see her as often as I see the interns I don’t have hours with. With her and Raisa I’m in a solid third place for fashion.

Even with me frequently missing Thursdays, Samantha carries the Writer’s Circle to further success. We get more regulars and our little group grows. I admire their writing so much.

It’s the same sensation when it comes time to read the blog. For the first few meetings I gush obnoxiously about Kate’s posts. She’s tall, fashionable, a great artist, and can write well? Actually unfair. I read her work and became painfully aware of what’s missing in mine.

As I read Leah’s posts she becomes even scarier. As I grow to admire her and her work I’m steadily more intimidated by her.

We have a dinner for Raisa’s birthday, and even though I don’t eat anything I have a very good time. I buy soda for the office and put it in the fridge, where it freezes.

We start board game night after the meetings on Monday, and I immediately wish had started it sooner. The first game we play is Scrabble. Raisa wins. She continues to beat me several more times at Words With Friends over the course of the semester.

There’s a heated debate about anime in the intern’s office. I am the only one actually heated, and I get a bit too loud about why One Piece is the best manga ever written. Someone comments that it’s the first time they’ve ever heard me be loud, and I immediately slip back into my cool facade. Got to keep up appearances.

We host an open mic, and I do my first ever performance at one. Everyone’s pieces are very good. Jared is an extremely charismatic host. At some point, Tim shouts out the email for The Junction submissions in a cool and Tim way. He has to leave at some point, and so when Jared looks over for him to do it again, I shout it out instead. My shouts aren’t as good. I walk away knowing I’m the poor man’s Tim.

I begin to stress out over writing my short story for class. I work very hard on an outline I know in advance I will have to throw away, and spend hours whining to different friends about how I don’t like the plot. One Wednesday, Kate offers advice, and we shift into a conversation about writing. I find myself incredibly gratified about how nice it is to talk about craft. It left me excited to write.

The second game for board game night is Settlers of Catan. Monica begins to come regularly. She wins the first Catan game, and her cocksure banter drives me insane. Tim is also there. We’ve hung out a bit during our mutual office hours. I like him a lot.

Christopher LaSasso bursts into the office and we catch up. He recently got into Brown University. I will be sad to see him go. I go to the fridge and retrieve the frozen bottle of Pepsi. All the water has frozen, leaving only concentrated Pepsi at the bottom. I begin downing shots of it. Ambrosia.

Chris takes a sip and can’t finish it. Tim can’t either. I’m stronger than both of them. Power flows through me.

A few times this semester, Professor Natov drives me home in her old car. It reminds me of my Dad’s old Toyota, in the way old cars are able to remind you that they’re just wheels and a platform over a road. The ground always feels uncomfortably close and my suspension above it remarkably fragile.

Joking aside, I come to enjoy our talks. Those memories I will keep for myself.

I bring Betrayal at House on the Hill to the next meeting for board game night. In a previous semester, I took a class with Justine. She commented to another intern that I looked sad in that class. When I say that I confronted her about it, I mean it in the most non-confrontational way possible, but she surprised me by saying that she brought it up to the other interns because she was surprised by how nice and charismatic I am.

Kate and Leah stay for board game night. I am surprised. My exact wording is “Oh, Hell yeah.” I can finally talk to Leah. She is as cool as I thought she would be. In the game it’s revealed Monica is actually a cannibal and her and her cannibal friends kill us all, but more importantly she comments that I got a 10/10 in fashion for that day. It is the best day of my life.

At some point we start working on The Junction and I accidentally tell Jared that I hate his baby. For character development, at a later meeting I make funny faces at the baby and it smiles at me, so we’re cool now, right?

We meet up over the break to work on the Junction, but also to play Dungeons & Dragons. I bring in all my cool miniatures and an adventure I had been meaning to run. Kate, Tim, Leah, and Raisa explore the city of Waterdeep and solve the kidnapping of Renaer Neverember. Tim names his character Francis Coolsick. They kill my boss before I get to do anything with him. It’s a good time.

The Writer’s Circle has grown to the point that we have three or four regulars. It becomes something I look forward to every week. Sometimes, infrequently, I convince my friends from class to come. They always come late because of who they are, but it’s nice to see them. It’s sad I didn’t read their writing this semester.

I don’t spend any time in the waiting room anymore on Thursday. I don’t get any work done on Wednesdays. I don’t go home after the meetings on Mondays. I am not productive at all. It’s great.

We (mostly Raisa) finish The Junction. I’m proud of it.

The rest of the semester slips through my fingers. For once, I’m sad to see it go. So many of my friends are leaving. There are a lot of small moments I didn’t include here. Tiny pixels that make up a whole picture.

I’m happy.

-M.C.