I had to really sit down and think about how I wanted to compose this post. The first thing that came to mind was to sit down and write about a show or movie I like and analyze it, but that didn’t really speak to me. Then I realized that currently watching does not have to be netflix or HULU related. There is so much to watch in your daily life. Spring marks a time of new beginnings. The transformation from one stage in my life to another. The shedding of old habits and insecurities that have been holding me back. I am currently and continually watching what is manifesting in my life. What insecurities and behaviors have stopped me from receiving blessings and how good it feels to let negative emotions and people leave my life with ease. Not everything has to be a fight. The one thing I am trying to work on is my ability to forgive. Forgiving someone is hard, especially when you held a special place for them in your heart. They could be a friend, sibling, parent, or partner. We tend to hold grudges against these people the most because we were vulnerable with them, and being vulnerable with someone is a way of saying “I trust you”. When they intentionally or unintentionally hurt you while you are vulnerable, they break that trust. And that can hurt… a lot. So yes, forgiving can be really hard because the emotionally pain is so intense. But it hurts so much more to hold on to anger and sadness. I think the reason why people hold on to these feelings is because they are waiting for justice to be served. “I want them to feel what I felt when they said those hurtful words to me,” “I want someone to break their heart the way they did mine.” So we wait and hold onto those feelings until we feel they have learned their lesson. But happens if they never learn? You just spent the better years of your life agonizing over justice that you had the power to serve. You could’ve said “I forgive you, and hope that whatever is broken in you gets fixed so that you don’t break something beautiful again.” I am one out of many people who have held on when my intuition and loved ones told me to let go, and when I didn’t let go, the fall back down to reality hurt. People come and go, and the absence of some hurt more than others. It’s hard work to forgive, but it opens up blessings that heal wounds that need healing. So, with that being said, I hope others are on the watch and see the signs of transformation in their lives. There is no better feeling than letting go, it’s just hard to see it that way.

 

-Kalae Mobley