Once upon a time, some 10 years ago, in the faraway land of New Jersey, lived a young boy named Ted. Ted was no ordinary boy, at least according to his mother (and she would know, right?!). Yet, Ted did not possess any distinguishable characteristics, talents or hobbies. But Ted’s mother insisted that he was a very special young man and so she encouraged him to pursue his passions, in the hope that he would successfully prove his self worth to the naysayers- namely Ted himself. Ted’s only interests lay in watching TV and eating (he sure knew how to multitask), yet this was not what his mother had in mind. So Ted decided to make an attempt to find a talent, if only to please his mother. First Ted took up cooking and was so successful that even the smoke alarms cheered him on. But the fire department kindly requested that he find another pastime. Reluctantly, Ted agreed and took up singing; it wasn’t his fault that when singing along with the radio the artists constantly got the words wrong. Then Ted learnt karate, kung fu, jujitsu and a bunch of other dangerous words, but apparently that was not good enough. Next came the drums. The neighbors ended that one pretty quickly. Painting was next up on the list of pursued talents. Ted worked really hard on his artwork and ended up painting as well as Leonardo Dicaprio (yes, I meant Dicaprio; Ted’s painting was nothing special). After months of trying to find his talent, Ted was a little discouraged but vowed never to give up; he was an attentive son who really wanted to make his mother proud. Realizing that he might have to lower his expectations, Ted signed up for a hot dog eating competition. Ted lost, as Ted always seems to. Sad and thirsty, Ted walked over to a booth selling soda, but the wait would’ve been really long as there were so many customers there. Fortunately enough, Ted notices that there is no punchline.