Watching What I Eat

I find it ironic how being on a diet is commonly referred to as watching what you eat. I have not been watching what I’ve been eating. Rather, I’ve been enviously looking on as everyone else around me indulges in pizza, and cookies, and whatever else their stomachs desire. So no, I have not been watching my cucumber sticks.

I’ve been on a diet for 14 days now. (Would’ve been 15 but there was cake). Here’s what I’ve learnt so far: if you’re thinking of starting a diet, don’t. Order a pizza. You’ll thank me later.

Yet, I’m stuck on this diet because I’m a very optimistic shopper. By this I mean that I tend to buy clothes that are too small on me with the misguided belief that I will magically lose weight. Surprisingly enough, that doesn’t usually happen. And now I have an occasion to wear one my beautiful, tiny dresses. So, I diet.

Dieting is hard. When I started, I was told that I’d have to cut out much of the foods I most enjoyed eating. No sugar, no dairy, no gluten. That seemed excessive. Me? Give up carbs? Over my bread body! I had something else in mind, like only one cookie, instead of my usual three. Yet I was somehow tricked into accepting the miserable diet, and let me tell you, celery is 95% water and 100% not cupcakes.

Dieting does have its benefits, though. Yesterday I wore something I hadn’t worn in five years and it still fit! It was a scarf, but still, it looked amazing.

Anyways my point is… well, I’m actually not sure that I have one. Just venting, I guess.

Enjoy your pie.