Food, Glorious Food

Ironic that I should write this post, as I am currently not eating. I’ve limited my daily caloric intake to 800 calories a day- an extraordinarily difficult task for a food-lover which I would not wish upon anyone. Like many people I know, I have a tedious relationship with food. I love it, I really do. But as someone taking difficult classes, volunteering, working, and continuously studying I seldom find time to cook for myself. My diet, therefore, consists of anything immediately in front of me at home or anything to be found around Brooklyn College. As many of us here know, the selection around Brooklyn College is not particularly healthy. With Burger King, McDonald’s, Chipotle, Applebees, and countless other fast food chains around it becomes a real challenge to find something that it is both filling and healthy. The answer of course is not to starve oneself but to cook/bring food from home. Eating less calories in a day as opposed to legitimately changing one’s dietary and exercise habits is a temporary solution to a long-term problem. It is a coping mechanism for the notorious freshman fifteen which- for all incoming freshman to note- is very real. But it is not an answer.

Many people around me, including myself, have a strained relationship with food. Eating too much is means for mental self flagellation, eating too little is an accomplishment. This mentality is wrong of course, but one that is extremely easy to buy into. There is a line between the desire to be healthy and the desire to look good at any cost. This line is often crossed. Initiative to lose weight is often incentivized by comments on weight/appearance which cause shame rather than a genuine desire to be healthy. I remember changing in my high school gym locker and overhearing a girl say that she’d gone on a food strike for three days because her uncle called her fat. I remember my best friend’s dad insisting she step on the scale in front of a group of family members after she had just gained twenty pounds. I remember, too, countless comments about my body and my sister’s body after visits to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Comments on my weight or the state of my body were always the first exchanges after long separations from family members and something I always dreaded. I would talk to my friends about their poor dieting habits and fuss about how they should eat more or take care of themselves while secretly indulging in the same behaviors.

Food is always something I’ve struggled with, and I know that I am not alone. I know that many people around me struggle as well to maintain good diets while balancing all the other aspects of their life. I know that we live in a looks-based world- which I understand is an extremely trite thing to say- which enables and even encourages toxic relationships with food. I know that my own woes about food are rendered meaningless in a sea of other complaints about food, body image, “society”, and beauty standards. However, I think my feelings on food are worth sharing and worth starting a dialogue over. It is too often that we talk about the need for body positivity and self care without actually discussing healthy ways to promote them.