DO SOMETHING! 

The words reverberate through my body in its first instance of consciousness.

DO SOMETHING!!

             i can’t. I reply.

The words weigh my eyes down, and my eyes shackle the body.

i can’t get up and do something.

And there I lay, the body weighed down by the weight that supports it.

The body deprived of food. The body deprived of life. It lays there. It lays there waiting to do something. But Newton’s Law forbids it.

is it newton or is it me?

                       someone told me the chemicals in my brain are responsible for the toxic                                        relationship I have with this bed. The bed. My bed. My prison. The prison.                                      This prison. 

i’m a positive person i think? and i’d like to get up. 

And yet there I lay.

There I lay.

Letting the Alarm ring. not ring. BLAREEEEEEEEEEEEE.  The Alarm BLARES off as if a prisoner escaped Sing Sing.

And yet there I lay

There I lay.

Woolf yearns for the Moments of Being. I’m living in the Moment of Nothing. But how does someone escape the incarceration of the mind?

So much becomes lost in the dimension of illusion. Or perhaps it’s the dimension of suppression? All I know that it offers such a sweet relief from the confinement of life. Not life. Just everyday things.

  1. Like credit card bills.
  2. A charge on my debit card for my monthly Hulu Live subscription.
  3. A paper I haven’t started that’s due by midnight.
  4. This blog post.

I wounder what I have lost in my Being, by being fettered to this bed?

maybe i could have attended princeton with sonia?

maybe i could have written a book my now?

Or applied to law school…

                                          …yeah i should probably get to those books and study…

Yet there I lay.

I lay.

8:58 AM

The BLARE will begin in two minutes.

9:10 AM

The

Alarm

stops

BLARING.

9:11AM

I’m late

I am ready to get up Now. 

-Justine Mekonen, Currently Reading: The Story of her Life