1. “Make sure that you treat your girlfriend with honor and respect. I know you’re my son but I’ll kick your ass if you hurt her.”
I know mom. I would never.
“You better know punk” pats my head “You better know”
Mom I’m 21 years old.
“What’s your point?”
2. “Pay your credit card statement a day before its due. It’s a good habit. Make sure its always paid in full. Never ever let your credit score drop.”
Thanks mom. I’ve been trying. I paid it one day late two months ago
“NO YOU DID NOT”
No I did not.
“But you did…”
Yeah I did
Aggressively Sweeps
3. “You should go hang out with your friends. You can’t seriously be rereading that book AGAIN”
No thanks mom, it’s just getting good…
“How can it be getting interesting…It’s gotten to the interesting part the past 5 times you read it”
Okay, okay you make a good point I’ll go!
“Wait, wait. When will you be home?”
No clue, by mom!
“No wait stay with me, I made tea…”
4. “You should take food from home today”
Okay mom, what are you cooking?
” No, no you misunderstand. You’re cooking!”
Ah, what am I cooking?
“Whatever you want honey, you’re taking it to school right?”
Are you taking it to work?
“Well if you insist…”
So what do I want to cook mom?
“Aww, I am glad you understand GIANT SMILE You are definitely cooking cutlets and mashed potatoes”
Got it mom!
“And don’t forget you prefer your cutlets crispy”
5. Mom this is too hard, I can’t keep studying.
“Shut up”
Seriously, I can’t tell ATP and DNA apart anymore.
“I came to Israel with exactly 3 dollars in my pocket and managed to survive and you can’t read a book?”
But…you just don’t understand
“You don’t understand. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, go for a walk then sit down and study”
Okay thanks mom relieved exhale
“I’ll make you some passion fruit mango tea! Trademark I’m an AWESOME MOM smile deployed
The Junction Journal 