What about… currently tasting?

 

I thought, for longer than I’d like to admit, about how I should start this post. I knew it wasn’t going to be about a dish I grew up eating that kneaded the amorphous dough of my future, or about a taste that could only be compared to the indescribability of a color. So, I decided on this, like a thought salad, to just throw it in and hope it doesn’t ruin the taste of the post. Now, I know what you’re probably thinking, “wow, I didn’t know I could get tired of someone this quickly, he just doesn’t stop shoving this horrible food lexicon down our throats.” Well, I’ll admit that I was also getting tired of it so I’ll stop it now before it gets stale. Okay, okay, that was the last one.

Well, now that we’ve got the introduction out of the way we can proceed to the meat of this post. Damn, that quickly huh, Richard. Anyways, I’ve recently come to learn, thanks to my girlfriend, that I have four favorite animals or groups of animals. In order, they are as follows: cephalopods, arachnids, insects, and lizards. For those that don’t know, cephalopods consist of octopuses/octopi (yep, both are right), squids, cuttlefish, and a bunch of other alien looking critters. While arachnids consist of spiders/spidie (jussssst messsssing with ya, spiders isn’t a real word), scorpions, ticks, and a bunch of other alien…looking… critters…hmm, well then. I’m confident you’re all aware what constitutes an insect or a lizard. “But why Richard, why have you gone to the trouble of wasting your time, and ours, in telling us something as pointless as your favorite animals, or favorite ‘animal groups.’” Well, haven’t you ever wondered how other animals taste? Not what other animals taste like, but the method in which other animals taste. I mean, it’s not like every animal has a tongue… or do they? I’ll just go ahead and spoiiiil this by telling you that no, there, in fact, are animals that don’t have tongues. I’ll also spill the beans and tell you that we actually don’t taste with just our tongues.

Yes, I know I’m doing it again…

Anyways, this post is getting a little too long so I’ll cut to the chase. Octopi have taste sensors all over their bodies, and can also taste with their suction cups. Spiders are able to taste with their legs, as well as their pedipalps (those are those long claw-like hands they push things into their mouths with). Most insects taste the same way that spiders do, yucky and slim… I mean primarily with their legs, although some also taste with their bodies. Lizards… well, lizards taste with their tongues (believe it or not), although they do have other other taste sensors.

Well, what about us, what do we taste with? Many of us believe that we simply taste with our tongues. Some of us, trying to outsmart others, will add that “actually, we also incorporate the sense of smell when tasting.” Why, yes, that is very true, but did you also know that we also taste with the roof of our mouths and with our cheeks? Don’t believe me? Well, let me expl ding…welp, never mind, it looks like my food is ready.

A dish of thoughts, best served half asleep.

-Richard