Heartbeats and Brain Algorithms
My heart speaks
Not in words but in beats
Sometimes it knows what I want to say before I say it
I wish it wouldn’t speak so loudly
I feel like it’s trying to escape my chest and live a life of its own
I try to contain it, but it’s been shouting more often lately
I think it’s telling me
“You’re falling in…”
Someone interrupts this
It’s my brain talking now
“You’re not falling…
It’s too early for that
Take time to think this through”
My heart snaps back
“What is there to think about? You know how you feel. Don’t be afraid to fall…”
Too many voices now
I’m hearing but I’m not listening
More like sounds floating in my atmosphere
My face bears a blank expression
I struggle to hold back my smile
I’m listening to an external voice now
“I’ve been thinking about you for a while now and I want to let you know how I feel”
My heart and my brain both listen, and flood my spirit with the sounds of their responses
I listen to them both
Then I listen to the silence
And wonder:
Is he listening to my heartbeats and brain algorithms?
Suddenly they both start to speak louder
In confusion my mouth mumbles inaudible phrases muffled in laughs and blushing
“It’s okay”, he says
“Take your time. You don’t have to respond now. Whenever you’re ready. ”
I listen to the silence again while I search for my voice
My brain is quiet
My heartbeats are quiet
That’s when I realize that my voice is a balance of my heartbeats and brain algorithms
Without those sounds, I have no voice
I articulate a balance between the two
“I feel the same way, but let’s take things one step at a time”
My heart has spoken and is pacified
My brain has spoken and is pacified
All is calm
But for some reason
I wish my heartbeat spoke louder
******
-Fortunate Ekwuruke