Nothing Will Always Matter

A currently reading meant to entice the reader with dialogic quotes meant as ingredients. The dish is titled, Dark Matter – a science fiction novel sprinkled with suspense, dipped in genius and scorched in a psychological oven.

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Grim: Don’t worry about the life you’ve lived, little girl, it isn’t your fault, “until everything topples, we have no idea what we actually have, how precariously and perfectly it all hangs together.”

Agnes: But sir, I’ve shared breaths with these evergreens and alps for nearly 85 lonesome years, and I can’t help but feel that “we’re all just wandering through the tundra of our existence, assigning value to worthlessness, when all that we love and hate, all we believe in and fight for and kill for and die for is as meaningless as images projected onto Plexiglas.’ There are so many things I didn’t do, so many paths I didn’t choose – yet none would’ve mattered… I was always meant to end up alone, sad, and afraid.

Grim: No, I get it, and I agree, “it’s terrifying when you consider that every thought we have, every choice we could possibly make, branches into a new world,” and that perhaps, you’re the most lonesome of all these other you’s, but there’s something you’re not seeing… “this isn’t how your life turned out. Only how it ended. Your life was beautiful.”

Agnes: Thanks, sir, my heart’s resting beat will be more still knowing you think this, but I’ve learned something else. I’ve learned that “this [wasn’t] just a game of chess. It [was] a game of chess against myself.”

Grim:  Well, “every moment, every breath, contains a choice. But life is imperfect. We make the wrong choices. So we end up living in a state of perpetual regret…” A perpetual regret against oneself, sadly.

Agnes: Can I ask you something?

Grim: Of course, darling.

Agnes: Are…“are you happy in your life?”

Grim: Ha… Of all the millennia I’ve been doing this and you’re the first to ask. Well, I’ll tell you this… I’ve reaped these lands, and lands like these, all across the earth. I’ve seen seeds ripple into forests, where they’ve sheltered birds and deer, and I’ve seen those same forests shutter into houses and buildings where they’ve safeguarded babies and families… But mother nature has never looked my way. That’s why you were lucky, my dear, I’ve grown to learn that “there’s something horribly lonely about a place that’s almost home.”

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Grim: In the end “I guess we’re both just trying to come to terms with how horrifying infinity truly is.”

 

-R