Element of Freedom

 

i come from slave

black slave, jew slave, woman slave

some indigenous slave sprinkled in, some bombay slave for spice

slave to the subway, to the schools, to the slough of daily life

 

freedom scares, that relentless churn in my gut

says – you’re not there yet, never forget, black lives matter and times up

 

there are tattoos in my blood

there are chains in my blood

there are handprints on my thighs

ghosts howling in my ear – you’re a slave

 

slave to writing, to reading, to questioning why

 

this bondage is painful, familiar, comfortable

iron nails my feet to the ground

without chains i’d float away

these black numbers etched in my arm remind me where i’m from

freedom is forgetting, abandoning, dismissing, diminishing

 

the weight of all this anguish

the weight of all this shame

the weight of all this anger

 

if freedom is forgiveness

if freedom is that lightness of being, is flight

then i’m earthbound, i’m bound, i’m chained, i’m slave

 

freedom scares.

~Amanda