Hooked

Hayley “queen of the gays” Kiyoko is back with a new single and I’ve never been happier.

In the past, I wrote a post about how “Pretty Girl” is not only a great song but has, to some extent, helped me let go of some of my internalized lesbophobia. Her new single, “Feelings,” was released on October 19th, with an accompanying music video.

The music video, which she herself directed, is notably tamer than the music video for “Sleepover,” and even though the song is gay-oriented by default, the lyrics seem much more personal than those found in some of her other songs:

I’m sorry that I care, care
It’s really not that fair, fair
I can’t help but care

I over-communicate and feel too much
I just complicate it when I say too much
I laugh about it, dream about that casual touch
Sex, fire, sick and tired of acting all tough
I’m hooked on all these feelings
I know exactly what I’m feelin’

The song speaks to the inability to remain unattached and emotionally unavailable despite the warnings from her friends that she’ll “get hurt, if [she’s] not like ice,” as well as a dissatisfaction or disconnect from her friends, the feeling of being lonely in a crowded room. In a way, the song reminded me of Halsey and Lauren Jauregui’s “Strangers,” although I feel like Halsey’s song is commercially angsty, as is all her other music (which isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, I just feel that there’s a line between poetic commercialized angst and fake deep commercialized white people angst) (she’s friends with the Chainsmokers, a.k.a god tier fake deep white people angst that somehow always involves cigarettes) (I know she’s mixed, but she always brings up the fact that she’s half-black so she doesn’t have to acknowledge that she has white privilege).

While “Pretty Girl” and “Sleepover” were anthems for sapphic women and girls, Hayley said in an interview with Flaunt Magazine that she wants “Feelings” to be seen as “an anthem” to a more general audience:

Feelings is super special to me because I think a lot of people can relate to the emotions that are brought on by being completely hooked on someone. I wanted to write an anthem celebrating these ‘feelings,’ as opposed to suppressing them like society often makes people do in today’s dating scene. We have feelings, we get involved, and sometimes we can’t control it. 

Again, though, the song is gay-oriented by default. Does the song speak to me as much as “Pretty Girl” does? Do I relate to the song lyrics as much as other people do? No and no, but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna listen to it on repeat for like three weeks, and then again in preparation for the release of her first album early next year.

Me, gayly anticipating Hayley’s album.

-L