Just Keep Swi- You Know What, Go Take a Nap

I have spent the last three years of my college career stressing over every minute detail of an essay, poring over multiple choice exams at least twice after I’m done just to check, and attending each class unless I feel like I might actually have the plague to make sure I don’t miss anything important. It’s exhausting work, taking everything so seriously, but I thrive on the control I have over the end results.

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve started student teaching this semester and as much as I would like to continue this trend, suddenly all bets are off. There are not enough hours in a day. I am pulling late nights on the daily, struggling to find the hours to complete homework assignments due that same day, and attending all of my classes but, in truth, not having the mental capacity to focus the whole time. I’m drinking more coffee and not nearly enough water. Last week, I forgot to eat dinner. Twice. I wake up tired. Some days, I feel like I have lost all control.

And here’s why: my whole life, I have been told that giving up is not a viable option. “If you are going to commit to something, commit fully and with passion.” My cheerleading Dorys have turned into unknowing tormentors.

Pictured: My well-intentioned motivators and me on Wednesdays.

Because the fact of the matter is, this is not a sustainable system that I have going. I know that by the end of this semester, something will have had to give, and I will absolutely not let it be my students or my teaching. So, health or academic performance it is. That should be an easy choice every day of the week and yet I’m finding it harder than I would like to admit. But I’m working on it.

I hope you find the courage to work on it, too.

Go get a hug from a friend,

a big bowl of mashed potatoes,

and find it in yourself to get to bed at a decent hour.

You’re more important than whatever it is that has you staring at your own precipice.

Much love.

– Margaret Iuni