Currently Eating People’s Bullshit

The Food Service industry has only 3 circles of hell but twice as many assholes than Dante’s Inferno. The trinity of Food Service Hell are the Managers, co-workers, and customers. Many of you may not have experienced what I have had to experience. Allow me to be your Virgil and guide you through this week’s Currently Eating. The names of the restaurant where I work and the names of the personnel will be omitted.

Managers

Managers seem to not understand that us employees have a life outside of work. Maybe it is because sometimes it feels like we actually live at work. When an emergency arises that pulls us away from work, you would think a manager would understand. What will actually happen is that they will resent you for having the emergency. As if you had any way to prevent it. When my coworker, who happens to be my partner, had to go to the emergency room, I left my shift to make sure she was okay. My manager’s response was to cut both our shifts for the following week and get mad at the assistant manager who gave me permission to leave. I wasn’t really surprised by his behavior. He had previously fired an employee because she had the audacity to find a second job that limited her availability.

Co-Workers

I will admit that I hate my job. Sometimes it shows but mostly I just want to do what I am paid to do and leave as soon as my shift it over. I have co-workers who have a slightly different approach when it comes to the concept of “work.” They often arrive late if they show up at all. When they do show up they are unnecessarily rude and difficult to customers. What bothers me the most is that they use the time at work to complain about their personal lives. I get paid to sit customers down and explain the specials. If you keep talking to me about how you aren’t ready for adulthood and your mommy issues then I will start charging you a Psychotherapy fee.

Also, just because you tell me about your life does not mean I will open up about mine. You might expect that a manager would fire this employee. Fortunately for them, my manager defends his favorites like Trump protects white supremacists.

Customers

I have an extensive database of customers that I don’t like. It grows day by day. It was so hard to pick just one but I decided on “Banana Republic.” If the employees at a restaurant have a nickname for you it means that you go their way too often and they hate you. This family is called Banana Republic because they live above the clothing store on the same street as my job. I know this because they never fail to mention how they live next door. Hey, I don’t care that you live in a million-dollar apartment. Banana Republic consists of Mom and Dad, three children and two grandparents. At the restaurant, we have a very simple rule. Everyone has to be here to be seated. Don’t be mad at me that YOUR friends are late. Banana Republic believes this rule just simply doesn’t apply to them. Why? Well, they live next door. They walk in and out whenever they want. Sometimes they request a table for all seven but by the end of it it is just the mom and the oldest child. They take up this huge table while a line of customers waits outside for them to leave. Banana Republic also has a problem that there are non-Japanese servers in a Japanese restaurant. The parents refuse to be served by the wonderful Nepali servers we have. They insist on being waited on by the Japanese server who only still has a job because he happens to be Japanese.

By the way, if I could, I would like to make a new rule. If your kids don’t know how to eat at a table without leaving it in chaos, eat at home. Order delivery. Please don’t come here.

-Brayan De Los Rios Guisao