My Mother’s Law

I feel very grateful that I was able to grow up speaking two languages. My first language being Spanish which I spoke for the first four years of my life in Colombia. It was the only language allowed to be spoken at home. My mother zealously demanded that everyone speak Spanish even if it wasn’t directed to her. It wasn’t just something that was asked of her four children. It was a commandment that could make you liable for punishment if ignored. I assumed it was a combination of fear and insecurity behind my mother’s demand. She was afraid of losing her children to this new country. She wanted to put up a fight against the inevitable assimilation of her children into the fabric of American society. She was afraid that by becoming Americans we would somehow stop being Colombians.

She was also just being a mom. A mom that wanted to know what her children were up to. How could she monitor her three teenagers if they all spoke a different language than her? She probably felt insecure that while she was able to accomplish a great deal of things her first couple of years in New York, English eluded her. Instead it made itself at home in the mouths of her children. I’m sure at times she even felt that rare feeling of thinking that everyone was talking about her behind her back in this new language.

I flash back to those early experiences with my mother when I’m scrolling through my Facebook feed and see videos of hateful people verbally attacking people in the street for speaking Spanish. This week a man in Oklahoma yelled at woman for “speaking immigrant.” This woman, Maty Roberts, migrated from Mexico to America in 1979 and is an American citizen. When I saw the video I just kept thinking that she could have been my mother. I can tell you that if that would have ever happened to my mother, I would not be using my hands to hold a video camera.

That wouldn’t be right. My mother would not want me to fight violence with violence. We have to look to understand people even in excruciating moments like this. I think this man and the countless of other people who have now been recorded spewing their racist rhetoric come from a similar place that my mother did almost twenty years ago. Fear and insecurity. That is where the similarities end however. My mother owned the house we grew up in. It was her right to impose whatever rules she wanted on her children. This man does not own America. He has to share it with all of us.

I am not scared of this man or his racism. I am scared of the fact that with every generation of Latin American descendants, their Spanish fluency is going down. It has a lot to do with a culture-war between assimilation and preservation. It doesn’t have to be that way, we can have it both ways. My mother’s fears were never realized. Her children never stop being Colombian when on their way to being Americans. My oldest brother has been serving in the U.S Army for 15+ years. Believe it or not, he is currently training Colombian soldiers at Fort Benning, Georgia. He is qualified for the position due to his extensive military experience and his bilingualism.

I am grateful to my mother for not allowing me to forget my Spanish. If anyone was going to, it would have been me. I am also proud of her for now trusting that we aren’t speaking ill of her when her children speak English to one another. Her children didn’t lose their culture to the English language. Americans are not going to lose theirs to the Spanish speakers at Target. That is the beauty of being bilingual. It’s a transaction that can have all gain and no loss.

-Brayan