I. Conflicts

Massive wars raging
—
Not quite that of Normandy
Rather like the blitzkrieg of September,
An instant loss (a drawn out battle
of tactics), no; a drawn out
crusade, yes
—
throughout my flesh,
Leaving residues of Conflict.

II. Nights Without Sleep

The battle rages on, my heart
Weak, Tired and worn,
There are traces of the embers
Of the Fire that has kept me going.
They send me
Emails, Work, Essays, Readings, Criticisms,
Like Spartans who wreak havoc
On my mind, causing
Insomnia in their passing—
Leaving me Nights without Sleep.

III. My Heart is Heavy

They may have taught me Hamlet,
And the way of Elitism
But do tell me,
Is such a system necessary
—
Those voices which decried societies
All Western, wherein we
Yes, you and me
Attend to daily?
—
To deny it wholeheartedly
Would leave my Heart Heavy.

IV. Twilight of February

I stood beside the road
Staring up at the pale white
Looking for a way,
Any way
To escape;
Until I finally saw it,
The answer that no other could see,
Within the Twilight of February.

V. I Shall Not Care

When my carcass lay rotting
By the gutter of March,
With you leaning above me,
Praying for me,
I will be as cold as you are;
I will be like a Tree,
Unmoving and never faltering.
And when you beseech for me
To accept it all and move on,
I Shall Not Care.

I’ve had a long weekend, a longer week, and the longest month of February. Ever. All of it together has been a tumultuous time for me. The mixing of the cataclysmic emotions I’ve felt all weekend produced this poem. I tried my best to tidy it up and make it seem poetical, but alas, I don’t have that spark of ingenuity and creativity needed for producing poetry. What’s done is done. I wrote with all my heart and I’m proud of this poem.

Onur A. Ayaz